Speechless

I am truly lost for words.

I had to leave my full-time job in January to complete my schooling. It has been quite an adjustment. I decided to babysit part-time to pay some of the bills. Doing this, I am making less than half of what I was making on a monthly basis. That being said, I need all the babysitting I can get. I consider my weekends valuable. Of course, the weekends are when most parents need a mini vacation away from their kids and go on a date night.

In January, I receive a phone call from (we will call her…”) Mrs. X telling me how excited she is about getting my information. She talks to me for a little over 45 minutes explaining her whole life to me. I am extremely polite and thrilled about the chance to help her out. She continues talking and offers me a position to work for her during the summer (without even meeting me) to take her daughter to the pool 3 days a week. Who wouldn’t want to get paid to hang out at the pool? I was tempted to accept immediately, until she became forceful in her own way trying to convince me to immediately accept the position. I was a little hesitant. I wasn’t quite ready to commit my time to a family that I didn’t know anything about (besides the picture perfect family she described). I kindly tell her that I am interested in meeting her family and suggest coming over one night for a few hours to watch her child. I even tell her I wanted to make sure we are a good match. Wouldn’t it be horrible for me to see her 3 days a week and it turns out she hates me?

She agrees. She asks me when I am available. Little did I know it, this was the first RED flag. I tell her the next Friday date I am open. Again, she begs me to commit to the summer position.

The week of our first encounter was quickly approaching. I was getting excited about our meeting. Then, the day before our date, she calls me to cancel. She then asks me when I am available next. I tell her I am pretty booked up and she begs me to look 3 weeks in advance to give her an exact date. I give her my only open Friday. I guess no date night for J and me this month. (second flag)

Weeks later, I start receiving multiple phone calls from other clients of mine begging me to come help them out at last minute (The date I am supposed to go to Mrs. X’s house). I kindly turn them down, and explain that I am already working on Friday night. Thursday comes around, the day before I am supposed to go to Mrs. X’s house. I decide I better call and confirm the night.

Sure enough, she has forgotten that she has booked me. I become a little irritated but hide it well from her. She tells me she is going to call her husband to see if they can make plans. I nicely ask her to call me back soon to let me know, and explain to her that I have had multiple offers that I still might be able to take advantage of. Hours went by……I still had heard nothing from her. I decided to send her a text message asking if she has found out anything around 1pm on Thursday. It wasn’t until 11pm that night she texts me to inform me that they won’t need me Friday. I was furious. Doesn’t this woman respect other people’s time? I decided not to respond to her text message. A few days later, while napping because I was sick and in addition had laryngitis, I receive a call from an unknown number. When I answer, I immediately regret it. It was Mrs. X. She said she didn’t realize she was calling me. She meant to dial another number, but since she had me could she find out my next available date. I tell her that it wasn’t a good time for me to look at my calendar but she could call me when she had plans to see if I was available. I knew at this point that each time she booked me she didn’t have plans. She just wanted to have a sitter just in case she wanted to go out. I made up my mind; this was not the kind of person I could work for. Babysitting is my only source of income right now. It helps pay the bills. It is not extra money. She tells me she will call me later.

Yesterday afternoon (a week later) I receive this text:
Hi-I wanted 2 see if u were still interested in babysitting 4 us and if u had a free nite anytime soon 2 sit 4 a few hours. Thx! Mrs. X.

I immediately notice the trend of asking me when I might be available instead of getting a sitter when she has plans. I panic. How do I tell this woman NO without offending her? I quickly consult the person (Mrs. Family) she received my info from to find out how comfortable she would be if I tell her NO and I explain the situation. Mrs. Family tells me she completely understands the situation and to just simply tell the lady it isn’t going to work. I am convinced I don’t own this lady an explanation unless she asks.

A few hours later, I respond:
I don’t think it is going to work. Sorry.

Later that evening around 10:45 PM, she decides to respond with the following: (keep in mind these text messages came for an hour straight and were a total of 8 messages)
Message 1: I’m glad to hear that-I already knew that from the way u rudely spoke 2 me on the phone the other day but I thought I would give u the benefit of the doubt.
Message 2: I am thankful that u did not ever meet my children-they r 2 precious 2 me, after having lost a child, 2 have someone like this near them.
Message 3: Good luck with babysitting in the future and I’m sure your Mrs. Family will be glad this did not work out. She knows me and my family very well and we love her.
Message 4: I’m sure she will understand what transpired between us. Hope things bode well 4 u. Politeness is a character trait we would all hope
Message 5: a potential sitter 4 our children would have. God bless u in ur future endeavors.
Message 6: God always has HIS plan of making things work out just perfect 4 us all. HIS plan 4 my family just gets better when HE avoids bad situations 4 my family.
Message 7: Hope the same will b true 4 you and your entire family! In HIS name…..XX
Message 8: Tomorrow is what would b our angel in heaven’s 8th birthday- GOD is good and at HIS perfect timing- I’m thankful HE is protecting my family. Thank u4 saying no =)

It took everything I had to not respond to this lady. She doesn’t know me at all. How could she possibly think it was ok to talk to me this way? I finally had to turn off my phone so I would not keep reading the messages she was sending me. With each message she had the opportunity to end the communication but she couldn’t let it go. She could have easily asked me, “Why won’t it work out?”, “Is everything ok?”, “Ok, thanks for your time.” But NOOOOOO she had to insult me. Again, all I can say is…..I am speechless.

Life as I didn't know it.

I am really enjoying my new lifestyle! I am thriving off of learning at Pizitz Middle School and in Supervision. I was nervous before I began. The worries of going to school for two years and then hating it when I was finished. I absolutely LOVE what I am doing. I am quickly adjusting to waking at at 6am. I thought this would be the hardest part of this semester. I am too excited when I wake up to even think about how tired I am.

Classes are going well and they continue to push me. This past week was a nightmare. I have learned I need to work harder in providing therapeutic confrontation. This is quite challenging for me. I jumped out of my normal self in class and was caught off guard by a classmate. This person was not ready to hear what I had to say and became very defensive. It took me a little while to realize that even though this person didn't like what I said, it was the truth and I was right by confronting him/her. I would not have been doing myself or the class justice if I had kept my mouth shut.

When Friday finally came around, I needed a night out. I had a fabulous dinner with Sarah at Moe's. Queso really is the best comfort food. Then I met Lael at the Cheesecake Factory for drink. My week was coming to a wonderful end. It is amazing how spending time with the people you love really energizes you!

Little did I know, my Saturday, next week, and the few months ahead would take a quick turn. I discovered some very disappointing information. I am not quite sure how I will cope with the news. My life has changed.

I quickly attempted to turn my negative energy into something a little more productive. I went to the gym to complete week 4. The pain I experienced from running was just what I needed. I ran faster than I had before, running from the disappointment. Once I could take no more, I drowned myself in a project. J received a grasshopper from a show in Florida. I thought it was really awesome. I took some time and devoted myself into creating a home for it.
Picture above.

I DID it!!!

I did it! Well...kind of. For the past two days I have ran two whole miles. I didn't exactly go by the program, but hey I did run the distance. My lungs are worked up and ready to go. My legs, however, not so much. I had to walk for a few minutes after the first mile to allow my legs to rest. Man, it was a struggle to finish. My legs are like jelly. I keep telling myself that this feeling is great. I must continue to believe that is true. I am determined to make it to my goal!

Week 3 off the Sofa

Well...this week is week 3/10 of my journey from the couch to a 10k. I must say I am pleased with my progress. J is surprised with my dedication to the gym. I even went to the Trak Shak to purchase a new pair of running shoes. It was hard getting back into the swing of things after a 6 month break. My body is extremely happy with me right now. I have been working up to two miles of full nonstop running. Tomorrow is the BIG day. 2 miles here I come!!! I am eager to be at week 10 running 6 miles. Step by step. I will be there in no time.

New Year, New Life!

What a wonderful weekend! J had some business to do in Huntsville this weekend. Our kind friends Katie and Jake offered their home to us for the night. On Saturday, Jake and Katie took us to an awesome place called Flying Monkey Arts Center . It was sooooo cool. The place is basically a old warehouse converted into art studios, a thrift store, and a record shop. On Saturdays, artists come to the center (free of charge) and sell their art. We saw lots of handmade vegan soap, jewelry, prints, records, and two sculptures of vaginas. Yes, you read that right. I must say that was a little disturbing. Art? Maybe, but do I really want that in my house? After an eventful afternoon, we decided to get some food at Happy Tummy (gastronomic delights). The sign (see Above) had me cracking up. It made me think more of what the food was for rather than making the food look appealing. They had a ton of vegetarian friendly menu items. I highly suggest eating at Happy Tummy once in your life. I'll even take a trip to Huntsville with you! Thank you Jake and Katie for a fab weekend!

Moving From The Couch

It is amazing how grad school makes me feel ridiculously lazy. I want to do nothing other than relax once I get off work and finish my school assignments. What once was working out daily, quickly turned into "Lost" episodes in front of the tube. I have been telling myself over and over again "I will go to the gym tomorrow". Well.... tomorrow never comes.
Over New Year's, a friend was telling me how much she enjoys running. I thought back to when I was in better shape. Instantly I knew what I needed to do. For two weeks now, I have been fighting the urge to workout. I make every excuse in the book. The one that normally wins is "it is way to cold outside". I must say it is a pretty valid excuse. I see people running outside when the temp is below freezing. I don't know how they do it. Today it occurred to me that I can continue this battle as long as I want but it won't change the fact that I am not in shape.
I would like to officially announce to the world that I will begin the couch to 10k program this week. It would be a lot easier if I could do it with friends and be outdoors. But I cannot change the weather. So....If any of you have a YMCA membership and want to join my journey, please do!

I am amazed how life can change so much in two years. Not too long ago I disappointed in the situation I had placed myself in. The job I held was weighing me down, constantly demanding inappropriate needs and wants. After multiple conversations with J, I decided I had been procrastinating for too long. I left that job soon there after and my life literally turned around. I soon began my career. My first job using my degree! Not too long after, I started working on my Masters in School Counseling. Life changed right before my eyes. Little did I know just who I would discover. Not knowing what to expect from these new experiences, I was a little hesitant. I then discovered that I would not be alone. D, L, E, and many others were also making this journey with me. I cannot express the gratitude I have for these girls. I do not know how I lived in this city for eight years thinking that I would not find lifelong friendships. It is hard to move to an unfamiliar city and start a new life. In the past few years, I have found what I had been looking for since I moved to this city. You guys know who you are....thank you!